


The Rustbucket Called Home

by FleaBee



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Ficlet, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleaBee/pseuds/FleaBee
Summary: Rimmer returns home after a stint as Ace to find things have changed, yet haven't at the same time.





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a challenge - Reverse, Reverse: Write a drabble fic of at least 5 drabbles telling a story from two different times (ie: yesterday and today, a long, long time ago and this year). Start at the 'present' (or more recent past) and bounce back and forth until the story reaches its ultimate conclusion back in the 'present'.
> 
> I ended up doing a ficlet instead of a drabble. Originally posted on fanfiction net 2 December 2015.

When I left Starbug all those years ago, I didn't think I would see Red Dwarf again. Somehow, Lister managed to lose the ship while we were visiting a planetoid. We wasted years following the trail of the ship with no luck.

When I told Wildfire to bring me home, I was expecting to return to Starbug. Wherever Lister, Kryten and the Cat are is my home. I wasn't expecting to see Red Dwarf.

"You really call this rust bucket home?" Arnold 'Ace' Rimmer from dimension 3,600,286 asked me. He was more like original Ace than myself. Space Corp academy trained, a commander in the Space Corps. He had never been a vending machine technician for the Jupiter Mining Corporation like myself. My successor who would continue the legacy of Ace once his training was complete.  
  
"Yes," I replied, this is my home.


	2. Death

I was standing in my room, having woken up from the most horrible dream. I had died, in a radiation leak.  
  
"Arnold." The ship's computer, Holly said my name. It was odd; Holly didn't talk to me unless the captain wanted to see me. "What is the last thing you remember?"  
  
I tried to think back and frowned. "I failed my exams again, woke up in the medical bay."

Holly prompted me to continue again. "What was your last duty?"  
  
"To repair the drive plate. That wasn't a dream. I'm dead aren't I?" I tried to pick up a book. My hand went right through it. I looked in the mirror. On my forehead was the H for Hologram which symbolised death.


	3. Replaced

I thought I was in the wrong dimension at first. The ship different, the crew was alive. I got a few odd looks as I wandered the hallways as Ace. My replacement stayed with Wildfire.

Cat found me, he knew I wasn't the original Ace from my smell. He led me to Lister and Kryten. When I saw Lister, I immediately knew I was in my correct dimension. They weren't alone, I had been replaced not once but twice. By Kochanski from another dimension and worst of all another version of myself.

The Cat complained how I should've stayed dead instead of being around twice. I found myself agreeing.


	4. Order

I watched as Lister finally started clearing up the dust of the crew who'd been dead for the last three million years.

"You can't sweep everyone up and mix their ashes together," I complained.  
  
Lister stopped, looking at me, cigarette hanging from his mouth mixing with the dust. "Why not? They're dead. Not like they'll know the difference."  
  
"But I will. In case you haven't noticed I'm dead." I pointed to the H on my head. "I don't want you treating my remains this way. So miladdo, we are going to do this properly by the book, collecting everyone off in alphabetical order."  
  
"Are you mad? I'm not going everywhere multiple times to collect them in alphabetical order. I'm doing this room by room?"  
  
After an argument that lasted all day, we ended up compromising, collecting the ashes in alphabetical order within a room. Well, Lister did, I can't touch anything.


	5. How?

"How were the crew resurrected?" I asked Lister, Kryten and the Cat. "Is there a whole floor of Cat people and Cat's ancestors?"  
  
Kristine explained, "... so with the ashes, the nanobot rebuilt each person."  
  
"That should be impossible, Lister and I flushed all the remains of the crew into space. There shouldn't be anything to resurrect the crew from." I pointed out.  
  
Lister turned towards me. "I forgot we did that. How could I forget, I spent hours helping you collect everyone ashes. Then during the funerals that took only a few seconds each, you complained that I was taking too long the entire time. Cat, can you smell any of your people on board?"  
  
"Only you monkeys. If there was another cat, I would know. My nose never lies." Cat replied.


	6. Failing

I left the drive room. I couldn't allow Lister to see me this upset. I just gave my own eulogy. The only person at my funeral was myself and Lister. I never imagined my funeral would be like this. I never imagined I would die so young; I was only thirty-one, I thought I had a whole life ahead of me.

There are so many things I never got to do which I thought I would have more time for; falling in love for the first time, getting married, having children. Those dreams that would never become a reality. I never became an officer.

My parents never told me that they were proud of me. It was always Arnold, why can't you be more like your brother. Arnold, I don't understand how you can fail to get into the Space Corp, your brother had no trouble. The youngest of four boys, I was the first to die. The only thing I'd ever been more successful in than my brothers was at failing.


	7. Holobots

Holly admitted that he was the one to convince the nanobot to steal the Red Dwarf and break it down. It had been a part of his bright idea to keep the crew amused. He never planned on being separated from them.

"Since Arnold wasn't with you to help keep you sane, I had Arnold recreated by the nanobots." The senile computer explained. "I thought since I was recreating Arnold why not recreate the whole crew, so I did. Then I thought why not create something new, so I invented the prisoners and the brig on floor 13. Simple really."

"Where do the prisoners come from Hol, the DNA you used to create them?" Lister asked.

"I didn't use DNA to create them or the crew. I used the holodiscs for the crew and the prisoners come out of the video games." Holly smiled. "Brilliant."

"Why didn't you recreate this dimensions, Kristine Kochanski?" Kristine asked.

"What was the point of having two Kristine's?"


	8. Holodisc

I just knew that Lister was going to turn me off. After all, who would want to spend the rest of their life with me?

Once I was in the Holosuite, I made my request. "Holly, I would like Kristine Kochanski's holodisc ejected from the library?"

"She doesn't have a holodisc, Arn. A month before the radiation leak you along with Kristine Kochanski and Dave Lister checked her holodisc out of the system." Holly informed me.

I was gobsmacked; I didn't remember that. Lister had been so in love with Kristine he couldn't even talk to her without teasing her.

"Hologram you were. Older Dave was. Time travellers I reckon. How and when I'm looking forward to finding out." Holly told him.

I had the scutter place a copy of my holodisc in a case that read Kristine Kochanski before I checked out the entire library.


	9. Belong

That nanobot crew was dying. The nanobots could no longer maintain a false living body. The version of me created by the nanobots was horrified knowing that he was eventually going to suffer the same fate.

We all watched until Arnold J. Rimmer was the only nanobot life form left. We all sat with him, Dave, Kristine, Kryten and my recruit, Ace. Cat brought along snacks; he thought it was entertaining to watch 'flared nostrils' die. Then Arnold 'nanobot' Rimmer was gone. Leaving two A. J. Rimmers.

Ace was affected having seen another version of himself die. I'd seen other me's die before but still affected just the same. I helped finish Ace's training and said my goodbyes to him. He promised to return when he found Kristine's home dimension.

Then there was one A. J. Rimmer. Me. I was me again, not Ace just Arnold. I was back where I belonged. With the people, I belong with, my considered family. I was home.


End file.
